re-ignite your spark

*****

So I'm trying to let myself open up more on this corner of the internet because I know it used to be so therapeutic and amazing for me to write and write and to connect with others through our words on the internet. But being real is hard, it's so much easier to fake a smile and only give the highlights of life and act all la-di-da. That would be so much simpler and easier, and I wouldn't have to write as much!

Heh, but that's not real life. Facebook and social media are lies, I get so fed up with the B.S. that people post, acting like that's truth and that they just have perfect lives. So fake.

(Oh and then there are the people that get WAY too personal and just downright whiny on their statuses.... oh oh and vague-booking, that's pretty bad too).

I digress. I want to be real, I want to help others by sharing my stories and struggles. I want to inspire someone. I want someone to know that if they need me I will be there, I am loyal and dedicated.

*****

Here I go, *breathes in, breathes out* phew.


I need to make changes in my life. I'm recently married and that is wonderful, but I live 2 hours away from my husband during the week and it's one of the hardest things I've gone through (and believe me, I have been through some horrific things, maybe someday I'll be brave enough to write about those). I'm also a senior in college and have a difficult degree full of drama and high emotions and stress and quite frankly some mean and rude people. I'm super sensitive so if someone ignores me blatantly, or curses me out during rehearsal, I take it pretty badly.


I could look at my schedule for the week and find all the things I dread, and count the minutes til I see my husband again (and yeah, ok, no matter what I still countdown til I see my love again, he gets me through the hard times). But if I focus only on the negatives, I will not be living my life to the fullest. I will not have joy, I will just be going through the motions (cue Buffy's musical episode) and I will be wasting my time.

Life isn't supposed to be just day-to-day fulfillment of obligations. There is no passion in that life, and if there is no passion, then what is the point? As a believer in Christianity, I am convinced by scripture and by personal experience that God has given us certain talents and passions for a reason, His glory and our joy. In my life I have been my happiest when I was using my talents and working hard for them. ("Find something you love and you'll never work a day in your life," great quote!!)

For 2016, my word for the year (cheesy right? Eh, at least it isn't just another fake resolution on the internet) is PASSION. And to accomplish this I will focus on some goals.



*I will find passion again for my music as I finish this last year of my Vocal Performance degree

*I will learn about the passions of a new marriage, and keep it alive and strong despite not seeing my husband every day

*I will find a church home to keep me grounded, and in the meantime discover more truths in God's Word

*I will open myself up in friendships and learn to trust and be vulnerable, despite the risks of being hurt (again)

*I will be passionate about my health and keep committing to taking care of myself physically and mentally!

*****

What are you passionate about?

Are you looking to connect with someone as flawed as you? Leave a comment or contact me if you like :)


xoxo,
Alexandra Anne


ps. Both pics in today's post were from my Summer trip to Europe!! Future blog post to come!

New Year. 2013 Style.

I wrote this a few days ago, and have decided to share it with ya'll. Here are my thoughts about the past two years and how God has worked in my life. He's so amazing, and the journey continues...

"2011 was the year I fell in love with opera, fell back in love with God, and fell in love with a new man. I had many ups and downs, and they both were extreme for me. At age 17 I had to grow up quite rapidly. My 18th birthday was spent away from family, this was part of the down of the year. 

2012 has been my year of growth. Where in 2011 I discovered my passions, in 2012 I tested them. I flew around the country trying to find my new home. There were times when I had no idea of the future at all, and I had to completely trust God. I gave Him my everything, all my dreams, and one day I said "God, I need an email from Houston today." Within the hour I was accepted to the University of Houston, and had been given a music scholarship from Moores School of Music. 

The past two years have taught me a lot about faith, passion, love, and hope. 2012 has truly been a year of hope for me. I hoped I would get into college, I hoped for my relationship to strengthen, and I hoped to stay strong on my own. 

2013 is here. Beyond this upcoming school semester, I have no idea what this year will hold. I have 3 and 1/2 years left to finish my double major, so school looks like my focus. But where does God want me? What does He want my focus to be on? Where will He take me? What does 2013 look like? 

Healing.

Wisdom. 

Love. 

Strength. 

I'm gonna shine for His glory. 2013 is now." 

 May YOUR 2013 be blessed! 

I'm gonna start this year with gratitude. What are you thankful for? 

xoxo, 

alexandra anne <3 

And Compliments

Last day of the 15-day Challenge. I know I didn't do all 15 days, but I've had fun with the days I did do!

Today's challenge is: What's the best compliment you've ever received.

I've heard it in different phrasings depending on who has spoken to me, but the best thing would probably be when someone tells me God has great plans for me and that I'm going to succeed. It's not just because they think I have talent, but they truly believe in God's glorious plan! I am so grateful and humbled to be part of that :)

"'For I know the plans I have for you', says the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you'."

Have a great week ya'll!! <3

Xoxo,
Alexandra Anne

PS. Let me know if you'd like to do a guest post sometime :) And keep an eye out for Emily's post next Sunday!

By the way....it's ok!

Hey ya'll. Found another linkup, and I quite like it! Yay for positive reinforcement! :)

Today I am convinced that it's ok: 

To dance like a dork while cleaning my room

To wear my new ring from my daddy on my ring finger (haha, I don't care if it looks like I'm engaged, I promise I'm not!)

To love completely without falter

To be in love with opera

To argue with my family about who gets to read a new book in our house first ;) (nerdy family means scrounge for new lit!)

To be slightly obsessed with instagram ;) 

To have too many shoes (but what girl has just the right amount of shoes anyway?)

To already have a bag for Houston even though it's 6 weeks away 

To be sad about friendships ending

To celebrate the love I see every day

To be obsessed with coffee ;)

To totally jam out to orchestral music 

To ask for God's forgiveness :) (He DOES forgive! isn't that great?)

<3 

Day 9 :)

Linking up with Life of Love for the 15 Day Challenge :)
Today's challenge asks: "Tell us the best day of your life to date."

I can't just pick one...and I'm sure I'm forgetting a bunch! But here are a few off the top of my head:

*The day I fell in love with opera- I can't say what day exactly it was, but it was mid-June 2011 when I was in Arezzo. I was sitting in a master class listening to some older students singing beautiful music, and I just knew. I finally knew passion.

*The day I first told Michael I love him- I was so excited to tell him, and so nervous too! I had been feeling it for a little while, and at that point (it was early in the relationship actually) we were trying to keep track of each other's feelings for the other. So he would ask "how are you feeling about me now?" And by that point all I could say was "I'll tell you in person, k?" (I was out of town for an audition, so this conversation was had  several times in phone calls; but I couldn't wait to tell him!) The next time I saw him in person was actually his birthday (Michael has the same birthday as Jarrod, one of my best friends, so we had a double birthday party at my house). I had a few minutes alone with him before the party started. So he asked, again, "How are you feeling about me?" I smiled and replied "I think I kinda love you." :) I was lucky to hear him say he loved me later that night. :) :) :)

*The day I told everyone I will be attending the University of Houston Moores School of Music- this had been a heartwrenching subject for me. I wanted so badly to just KNOW where I would be going to school. Everyone asked me, every day, what my plans were. Music majors have it tough; we don't even get to audition until February of senior year, where most of our fellow seniors already have roommates planned. I was in limbo for weeks, not knowing what school I would go to. But God answered a very specific prayer, and by leaning on Him, His plan was finally revealed to me! Such a neat moment for me. And I am beyond ecstatic to be going to Houston! Funny fact, U of Houston was the first school I visited last fall when I began my journey to college ;)

*Graduation day :)- That day we look forward to, ever since we were little, but especially since freshman year. Seniors always look so cool, and reign on high. Well, being homeschooled, I never really felt like a senior, but I was on an adventure. Graduation was a wonderful day because I could shout to the world that I was DONE! I had so many friends and family come support me and watch me walk :) I also had the pleasure of singing an aria for the performance section of graduation, and I led the congregation in a hymn during the ceremony. I came home with my closest friends and family, and we enjoyed pizza and croquet. That's all I need really. The people in my life. I'm so blessed by the people God put in my life! My parents are my rock foundation, my best friends listen to me vent and have helped me when I was at my rock bottom, and my boyfriend always puts a smile on my face. So many individuals have helped me all my life, and I am eternally grateful. And guess what? I'm always ready for new friends :) I want to be that person for someone else!

"Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all." -Helen Keller

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss

Xoxo,

Alexandra Anne