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So I'm trying to let myself open up more on this corner of the internet because I know it used to be so therapeutic and amazing for me to write and write and to connect with others through our words on the internet. But being real is hard, it's so much easier to fake a smile and only give the highlights of life and act all la-di-da. That would be so much simpler and easier, and I wouldn't have to write as much!Heh, but that's not real life. Facebook and social media are lies, I get so fed up with the B.S. that people post, acting like that's truth and that they just have perfect lives. So fake.
(Oh and then there are the people that get WAY too personal and just downright whiny on their statuses.... oh oh and vague-booking, that's pretty bad too).
I digress. I want to be real, I want to help others by sharing my stories and struggles. I want to inspire someone. I want someone to know that if they need me I will be there, I am loyal and dedicated.
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Here I go, *breathes in, breathes out* phew.
I need to make changes in my life. I'm recently married and that is wonderful, but I live 2 hours away from my husband during the week and it's one of the hardest things I've gone through (and believe me, I have been through some horrific things, maybe someday I'll be brave enough to write about those). I'm also a senior in college and have a difficult degree full of drama and high emotions and stress and quite frankly some mean and rude people. I'm super sensitive so if someone ignores me blatantly, or curses me out during rehearsal, I take it pretty badly.
I could look at my schedule for the week and find all the things I dread, and count the minutes til I see my husband again (and yeah, ok, no matter what I still countdown til I see my love again, he gets me through the hard times). But if I focus only on the negatives, I will not be living my life to the fullest. I will not have joy, I will just be going through the motions (cue Buffy's musical episode) and I will be wasting my time.
Life isn't supposed to be just day-to-day fulfillment of obligations. There is no passion in that life, and if there is no passion, then what is the point? As a believer in Christianity, I am convinced by scripture and by personal experience that God has given us certain talents and passions for a reason, His glory and our joy. In my life I have been my happiest when I was using my talents and working hard for them. ("Find something you love and you'll never work a day in your life," great quote!!)
For 2016, my word for the year (cheesy right? Eh, at least it isn't just another fake resolution on the internet) is PASSION. And to accomplish this I will focus on some goals.
*I will find passion again for my music as I finish this last year of my Vocal Performance degree
*I will learn about the passions of a new marriage, and keep it alive and strong despite not seeing my husband every day
*I will find a church home to keep me grounded, and in the meantime discover more truths in God's Word
*I will open myself up in friendships and learn to trust and be vulnerable, despite the risks of being hurt (again)
*I will be passionate about my health and keep committing to taking care of myself physically and mentally!
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What are you passionate about?
Are you looking to connect with someone as flawed as you? Leave a comment or contact me if you like :)
xoxo,
Alexandra Anne
ps. Both pics in today's post were from my Summer trip to Europe!! Future blog post to come!
