To Serve Is To Love

Do you know how good it feels to serve someone else? Not in a slavery-abusive type situation, that's not cool, but when you willingly give of yourself to take care of someone else's needs?


Let's look at some etymology real quick.
My name is Alexandra, a Hebrew feminine version of the name Alexander. The name means "defender/helper of mankind."

Helper of mankind. Well, that's quite the load, isn't it?

That being said, I have tried to live my life with a servant's heart and to help people as best as I can. The best part of this? My husband's top love language is Acts of Service.


One of the most loving things I can do for my husband is to clean up a little, or have dinner made when he gets home; simply taking care of a task for him so he doesn't have to worry about it is all I need to do.

It's not easy, and sometimes I just don't wanna get off the couch. I'm not perfect at this love language by any means! But when I put a little bit of effort in towards it, it goes a long way.

***

Something I'm working on for myself, however, is how to accept someone else's acts of service towards me. My brain sort of goes "But wait, I'm the helper! I take care of YOU, not the other way around.... how could I ever ask for help?"

I'm taking it in small steps, for sure. They always say you can't truly love other people unless you love yourself, and that counts for self-care/asking for help too, I think. I'm still pretty independent, and usually just take care of my things myself. But here are some ways I am working on letting other people serve me like I want to serve them:

*Asking for a workout buddy to join me at the gym (I also love Fitbit challenges! Add me!)

*Texting a friend a seemingly stupid question because I need to lower my pride and actually figure out the answer

*Calling my husband when I'm upset and just listening to his voice to cheer me up (this is sometimes hard for me because I don't want to bother him...but merely hearing him helps me SO much)

*Asking my husband to help me with a task

*Asking a friend for advice (also hard: I have to admit that I don't know how to handle something that  I feel I should already know how to)

*Actually inviting someone to just hang out- this may not seem like a normal "act of service," but it is a really huge step for me right now



What are your favorite ways to help someone?
What ways can you ask someone to help you?
Both are important!



xoxo,
Alexandra Anne

It's Okay To Ask For Help #LoveBlog

Hello my dears,

I hope you had a lovely valentine's/galentine's/palentine's/etc day/weekend and are ready to face the week, Monday is here, eek!

Today's post is on counseling in relationships and such.


I used to think I didn't need counseling, that that was for people who cheated or had step children, or I don't even know. If I thought that then it must've been a long time ago, because ever since Michael and I started talking about marriage I knew that pre-marital counseling was something I would be on board with.


I used to think we should seek out a church or counseling center for pre-marital counseling separate from the pastor marrying us, but we ended up only seeing our pastor for a few meetings before we got married. But it was awesome!


Now, it helps that our pastor was super chill and fantastic and real. He wanted to make our ceremony what we wanted it to be, and give the glory to God in the process. He also wanted to help us know how to live together as husband and wife and work together in the best way possible.

He was the one who gave us the couples' edition of The Five Love Languages and had us take the tests in it (even though we had taken the singles edition test years before). Our results didn't vary too much, just that the priorities are different when you are asked questions about your significant other as opposed to questions about a theoretical person you may encounter. Our pastor helped us analyze our results really deeply (but simply as well) to make sure we understood what the other person needed from us.  For example, one of Michael's top love languages is acts of service; it fills his love tank when I do something to take care of our home or get groceries, etc.

One of my top love languages is words of affirmation; I need to be told very often how he feels about me and why I am not a failure (does anyone else feel like that?). I *know* he loves me, or else he wouldn't have married me, but the way my brain works I need to hear it or see it written pretty frequently to make sure I'm still doing okay in the wife department.


Seeing a pastor before we got married also helped us make sure all our ducks were in a row for wedding day (details, details, DETAILS) and helped us stay calm whenever mini emergencies happened.


I highly HIGHLY recommend pre-marital counseling. We had lived together before we got married (in a PG way, promise!) and still had things to learn about each other. There's still tons more to learn, I know it, but the counseling helped us prepare for the journey we have ahead. We may even have more casual counseling meetings with our pastor just because we love him THAT much! Plus, it's an excuse to go get coffee ;)

How BA and epic does he look? It's like "let's get this wedding taken care of" to me ;) 

xoxo,

Alexandra Anne

Meet your hosts!

Meet Alexandra Anne: wife, gamer, fitness lover, opera-singer, fur mommy, writer, dreamer. Addicted to mugs, music, and finding passion in life. 

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Meet Brita Long: Christian feminist blissfully married to Dan Fleck for almost two years. Lover of Paris, pink sparkles, sensible shoes, manicures, and books. Fueled by hot tea and mimosas.

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Meet Alex: Twenty-something southern wife living in the Atlanta suburbs. Lover of Pure Barre, animals, traveling, wine, eating (a lot), music, and dance parties!

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An InLinkz Link-up

Hoorah!! #LoveBlog

TGIF! Does anyone else feel a huge sigh of relief when Friday gets here? It's especially awesome when it's a Friday off and you get a three day weekend, (which is what I get since I still have class Monday...oh well!)


Today I will be drifting a bit from the #LoveBlog topic for the day because...we just got our wedding pictures! I am very distracted by them, and am also trying to prep for our camping trip tonight/tomorrow for Valentine weekend.


So I will leave you with a few of my favorite wedding pics, and the website of the lovely photographer who took them! We've been so excited to get these!!


I promise to write more tomorrow ;)



xoxo,
Alexandra Anne

all pictures by Margaret Marie Brewer photography http://margaretbrewer2015.wix.com/margaretmariephotos

My Perfect Date #LoveBlog

Hello friends,

I hope your week is turning out well :)


Today's topic is about Perfect Dates, and I honestly have had to think about this because I usually am quite fine with simple regular dates (ask my husband, I am pretty chill).



First, let me list my top favorite dates of the past:

*Surprise picnic at the park downtown- I love being deceived when it involves a surprise or gift, it makes my "girl who has to know"-brain very satisfied trying to solve the mystery!



*Our dates to the Museum of Natural Science- we went several times when I lived in Houston and he would fly in to visit me; we love to nerd out and that place was fantastic. We also liked walking around the city (once we went to a park down there and have many fond memories, including a bird that kept harassing me and following us!)



*Waffle House and the movies- this was our first valentine together, we were still a fairly new couple (but very in love) and we wanted to be frugal but still enjoy a lovey dovey day together. We decided to get all dressed up (fancy pants!) and go to Waffle House (frugal and yum!) where I promptly spilled my glass of water alllllll over the table and floor....we have since decided that it isn't a real date unless I spill something. Then we went to the movies and saw Red Tails. Because we are awesome like that ;)


*The proposal- duh, of course this is one of my favorite dates! He took me to our first date spot, and it was super romantic because it had snowed the day before, and got on one knee and asked me the best question ever! It was private too, and super sweet. It was also nice to see where our relationship got started, and where our first kiss was!



So, to describe a perfect date, it would have to be some sort of combination of any of the above, but really the perfect date is any time we make for each other and are together. I love my husband and all I need is to be near him and I am joyful.

***

What would your perfect date look like?
What's been your favorite date ever??


xoxo,
Alexandra Anne

Meet Alexandra Anne: wife, gamer, fitness lover, opera-singer, fur mommy, writer, dreamer. Addicted to mugs, music, and finding passion in life. 

Twitter // Instagram // Facebook // Pinterest // Bloglovin

Quality Time #LoveBlog

Today's topic for #loveblog is Quality Time! One of my absolute favorites :)



The definition of quality time is as follows:

 qual·i·ty time

noun

1.      time spent in giving another person one's undivided attention in order to strengthen a relationship, especially with reference to working parents and their child or children.

I used to think that quality time could only be spent in person, but that was widely false; as a master (mistress??) of long distance relationships/friendships, I have learned that quality time can be spent in so many situations! Technically, I don't even have to be in direct contact with someone to give them quality time.


When I test for the Five Love Languages, gift giving is my lowest love language. However, I appreciate gifts oh so very much because I know the time that went into the gift and into getting to know me (and also the time to work to earn money for it!).


If my husband and I apart, we can still spend quality time together with phone calls, skype, texting, and even online gaming together (sadly, my gaming computer is at home with him this semester, so during the week I can't do that...alas!).


In person, we also like to game together whether it's on a tabletop or on our computers or on a console while snuggled on the couch in the living room.

(pictures taken from pinterest) 

Quality time isn't just doing activities together either. Sometimes, for me, the time is spent being near each other while accomplishing different tasks, but still taking breaks as needed for eye contact or kisses etc. (If you cuddle while on laptops, it is a risk you take that the laptop will be thrown to the ground to make way for more cuddles!)


When I am far away from my husband, though, the best quality time is when he calls me to check on me and tell me he loves me. That's what gets me through the day, hearing his loving voice.


All of this can be applied to friendships too! (Except the kisses part, then you've gone beyond friends of course) I am so happy when a friend wants to skype, or we spend hours in conversation even if that is through text, that all applies to quality time and fills my love tank. I think the reason conversation works for me so much is because it's tied to another one of my favorite love languages, Words of Affirmation, but that'll be for a later post ;)

***

What are your top love languages?
How do you define quality time?


xoxo,
Alexandra Anne

National Marriage Week #LoveBlog

Phew! What a crazy weekend! I had a recital, a quiz, a newlywed bridal shower, and drove up and down the state all within three days, eek! But I'm back to my laptop now, on my comfy couch drinking some pinot grigio (a la Ramona Singer, because let's face it, we all wish we could get away with being THAT blunt) and I'm ready to write my heart away :)



Today's topic is on MARRIAGE, because it is national marriage week, how cool??!? I'm pretty excited just because I am currently LOVING my new marriage (we hit four weeks on Saturday, seriously brand new) and can't wait to celebrate Valentine's weekend with my hubby.


I have my sarcastic moments and views of cynicism on life sometimes, but I have pretty much always been a fan of marriage. There was only one point in my life where I had a big pout and thought I would never have kids and probably never marry (it was a stupid bad breakup in high school, I was 17, so obviously the world was going to end). But a few months after that icky situation, Mister Right popped into my life, or back into rather. I had never been close to him, I just knew he existed from our circle of mutual friends and we hung out in group settings as acquaintances (we actually have a picture of the night we met!).

I was 14, he was 16, four years later we would become a couple! 

So, I hadn't talked to this guy in a year, and all of a sudden he messaged me on facebook. Behold, facebook has done something GOOD, because four years later we are husband and wife and falling more in love every single day :) We started dating a little bit after that facebook conversation and have been together ever since.


I am actually planning a post on how to get a husband, a sort of satire if you will, because many things in our relationship have not been conventional or the social norm, and that's kind of awesome to me. But for today's late post I will give y'all an idea of what my relationship has taught me, and what the beginnings of our marriage has taught me


*I don't believe in love at first sight. I believe in lust at first sight, but there is NO way you can know the important things about a person just by looking at them. Yes, you can gather some ideas based on inferring data, but I believe that you need to spend time with a person in all sorts of situations to know whether or not you love them or are in love with them.

*There is no actual schedule for love. This slightly contradicts the above point, but I think every relationship is different. I knew I loved Michael within just a few months, but I also knew that we had a long way to go before we could plan our lives together. We were just teens when we started dating, and I was in high school! But we knew very quickly that we were in love, and that love only grew deeper and truer as time grew on.

*Kissing isn't like the movies. First off, bodies are gross. Secondly, in movies they aren't really kissing, it's more like a mushing of upper lips together with a combo of some movement of faces from side to side.


*Long distance is completely doable- and anyone who says "the distance is just too hard" makes me reallllllly frustrated. If both parties are honest and loyal then long distance is definitely attainable. It is NOT easy and I know it's not for everyone, but if we can do it, so can you. (I also know we are super blessed to be able to visit each other frequently, even when we lived 12 hours apart we never have gone more than 45 days apart from each other, now it's more like we can't go 5 days apart!). Skype is a huge blessing, and so is unlimited text/calling. He didn't text when we first went out, and we couldn't have free phonecalls til 9pm, haha those days feel so long ago now!


*Living with a man is an adjustment, but it totally works when you are best friends. We work so well together in every situation, it made sense that we have adjusted to living together pretty well. There are learning curves occasionally, but we love to serve each other, so we are usually happy to take care of something around the apartment when the other person asks. It's the little things that make a great marriage. Also, waking up to cuddles with your best friend is so wonderful. I wish I could do that every day (I will after this semester, I just have to live alone during the week, but weekends are wonderful). Oh, and having a pet helps encourage more cuddles too! Our cat brings us together and brings us so much joy, and is way easier than having a human child which we won't be ready for for many years to come.


*It takes two to tango- If one person isn't fully committed to the relationship, it won't work. Hands down. You can try and try, and it just won't change, not long term anyway. I am so lucky that God put the right man in my life at the right time. I didn't think I would ever be with anyone ever again (dramatic, right? Ah, to be 17 again, let's not do that, okay? Okay). But Michael walked in and completely won me over and it all has been so natural and at the end of the day it isn't hard for me to love him.

Love Languages- Receiving Gifts #LoveBlog

Hi there!

Today's #LoveBlog linkup topic is about one of the 5 Love Languages; today's love language is "Receiving Gifts."


Now, if you don't know about the 5 Love Languages, I highly recommend you read THIS book, AND you can go to their website and take the online quiz and find out what love languages are most important to you (they're all important to a certain extent, but we all have different ways that we feel most loved and how we like to love others)

Funnily enough, receiving gifts has always been my lowest score on my love languages quiz. I don't consider myself to be a material person, and I know what it's like to have holidays come up and neither you or your significant other have spending money for frivolous gift giving. For me, I am appreciative of gifts because it shows the other person spent time to get it, time to figure out what I would like, and possibly time making it! Quality time is a higher love language on my list, so that's how I interpret gifts. 

That being said, I love guessing what present I'm going to get if it's my birthday or Christmas (especially when you see your present under the tree and you try to figure out what it is based on the size and weight and box shape; my Dad calls me "Girl who likes to know," so that probably plays into that!). I also love giving a gift if I know the recipient is going to absolutely love it! I like taking the time to find them the perfect gift. 

Do you like making homemade gifts? Check out this link I found on pinterest! https://www.pinterest.com/pin/133067363967576902/ 

Let me know what your top love language(s) are! (You can have more than one haha it's pretty cool)

xoxo,
Alexandra Anne

Valentine #LoveBlog

Happy February 4th, my friends! It's Thursday, the work week is ALMOST over, hang in there!

I'm trying to get things done, and keep up the blog hehe, and prepare for my recital this Saturday. Eek! It's not an easy life, but at the end of the day I know I'm working towards some awesome goals, so that keeps me going. AND I get to see my husband tonight! Yay! (Long distance sucks, but thank goodness we can see each other for weekends and he has tomorrow off from work!)


Today's #LoveBlog linkup question is about Valentine's Day! Brita asks us what our valentine plans are and what our favorite valentine has ever been.


This year is our first married Valentine's Day, and we will probably be celebrating the whole weekend and just spend time together. That being said, we also would LIKE to go camping, should the weather permit. One of our wedding gifts was a huge ton of camping gear and a tent and a double sleeping bag, so we really want to utilize that gift! Plus we love hiking and nature, so it'll be great to go up one of Huntsville Alabama's many mountains and enjoy the view.

How cozy does this look??

Huntsville is just gorgeous. We live in a beautiful city!

As for the best Valentine's Day, that's really hard to pin down. I've been with Michael since October of 2011, so we have celebrated 4 Valentine's Days together. Last year's was really nice; we were both broke at the time so we both painted each other little cute cards, and played world of tanks online together (Valentanks day, as we call it) and then celebrated the REAL holiday, the next day, Half Priced Candy Day :) It was really funny last year because I knew Michael had been working on acquiring an engagement ring, but that's all I knew, there were no details. So he kept reiterating to me that I would NOT be getting a proposal on Valentine's Day (which would've been cheesy and kind of lame anyway, BUT at that point in time I wouldn't have minded because I was ready to get engaged!). He did eventually propose, just two weeks later, so I was a happy camper (hehe, camper, see why we need to go camping? Ok, I'll leave the puns alone...for now...). 

The thing about Michael is we can do anything and nothing but as long as we are together we are so happy and joyful. We've been through many hardships over the last four years, and they have only made us stronger. And the thing about long distance is that it makes you appreciate the time in person even more, because you know how the aching feels to be apart. 

Since we are Firefly nerds in our relationship, I'll end with our version of my favorite quote from the show. "No power in the 'verse can stop us." (In the show, Kaylee says "me" instead of us, but I think it's close enough!)

xoxo,

Alexandra Anne 

Fictional Love- #LoveBlog

Hey friends! I'm joining the link-train on Brita's AWESOME February linkup (stay tuned, I'm gonna be co-hosting on four different dates this month, it's gonna be so fun!) and I'm a little behind but that's ok! I'm on board now ;)



Today's topic is Fictional Love. Brita asks "Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?" and "What TV couple is most like you and your significant other?" 



First off, if you've ever met me, or been to my apartment, you've seen my Labyrinth poster and know that David Bowie was supposed to be my husband. But once I got married David realized he would never have me and gracefully left us behind (am I awful? Ok yeah, just a bit). Seriously though, Labyrinth was my childhood and Jareth the Goblin king was the man I was supposed to marry. I would totally have been his queen and danced around the castle with different dimensions and levels of gravity, etc. I also am a huge fan of Nathan Fillion, because he is the captain (in EVERY role, I swear) and my real-life husband looks just like him, so, I'm winning!!! 

Oh Jareth....

Captain. Always. 

How could you NOT have crushes on these men? Mmmm. 

Anyway ;)


As for question #2, what TV couple are we like, I want to say Marshal and Lily from How I Met Your Mother, except that my husband isn't *that* goofy. But I am Lily to a t.... anytime I'm watching the show and she does ANYTHING my husband looks at me and points (isn't our communication great? haha, we just point to the other person and know what that means). He's saying I'm her...I know.... she just gets excited and passionate, okay? There's nothing wrong with that. 

We are similar to couples on TV, but it's hard to find characters that go together that are like both of us. I could say he is Malcolm Reynolds from Firefly, or Dr. House from House, but I don't really have anyone to couple them with that I relate to. If anything from Firefly I'd be like Kaylee haha but she and Mal are definitely not a couple in any way shape or form. 

So I'll stick with Lily and Marshal, just because they have the same relationship dynamic we do where we are attached to each other equally, tell each other everything, and are totally passionate for the other person and would do anything for them and support their dreams. 

Be sure to check out the #LoveBlog linkup going on! 

xoxo,

Alexandra Anne