Sunday, February 14, 2016

It's Okay To Ask For Help #LoveBlog

Hello my dears,

I hope you had a lovely valentine's/galentine's/palentine's/etc day/weekend and are ready to face the week, Monday is here, eek!

Today's post is on counseling in relationships and such.

I used to think I didn't need counseling, that that was for people who cheated or had step children, or I don't even know. If I thought that then it must've been a long time ago, because ever since Michael and I started talking about marriage I knew that pre-marital counseling was something I would be on board with.

I used to think we should seek out a church or counseling center for pre-marital counseling separate from the pastor marrying us, but we ended up only seeing our pastor for a few meetings before we got married. But it was awesome!

Now, it helps that our pastor was super chill and fantastic and real. He wanted to make our ceremony what we wanted it to be, and give the glory to God in the process. He also wanted to help us know how to live together as husband and wife and work together in the best way possible.

He was the one who gave us the couples' edition of The Five Love Languages and had us take the tests in it (even though we had taken the singles edition test years before). Our results didn't vary too much, just that the priorities are different when you are asked questions about your significant other as opposed to questions about a theoretical person you may encounter. Our pastor helped us analyze our results really deeply (but simply as well) to make sure we understood what the other person needed from us.  For example, one of Michael's top love languages is acts of service; it fills his love tank when I do something to take care of our home or get groceries, etc.

One of my top love languages is words of affirmation; I need to be told very often how he feels about me and why I am not a failure (does anyone else feel like that?). I *know* he loves me, or else he wouldn't have married me, but the way my brain works I need to hear it or see it written pretty frequently to make sure I'm still doing okay in the wife department.

Seeing a pastor before we got married also helped us make sure all our ducks were in a row for wedding day (details, details, DETAILS) and helped us stay calm whenever mini emergencies happened.

I highly HIGHLY recommend pre-marital counseling. We had lived together before we got married (in a PG way, promise!) and still had things to learn about each other. There's still tons more to learn, I know it, but the counseling helped us prepare for the journey we have ahead. We may even have more casual counseling meetings with our pastor just because we love him THAT much! Plus, it's an excuse to go get coffee ;)

How BA and epic does he look? It's like "let's get this wedding taken care of" to me ;) 

Alexandra Anne

Meet your hosts!

Meet Alexandra Anne: wife, gamer, fitness lover, opera-singer, fur mommy, writer, dreamer. Addicted to mugs, music, and finding passion in life. 

Meet Brita Long: Christian feminist blissfully married to Dan Fleck for almost two years. Lover of Paris, pink sparkles, sensible shoes, manicures, and books. Fueled by hot tea and mimosas.

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Meet Alex: Twenty-something southern wife living in the Atlanta suburbs. Lover of Pure Barre, animals, traveling, wine, eating (a lot), music, and dance parties!


  1. Aww, love that you guys had a good relationship with the pastor who married you! I had my childhood pastor married us--he's thought I am an awesome person ever since he first met me at like, 6 years old, so it was super fun to be married and do all the planning talks with someone who has always loved and respected me and my family and was really excited to meet my husband!

  2. I love, love, love The Five Love Languages & think it’s so important for every couple to read it!