Sunday, March 3, 2013

Strength Isn't Easy

I need to be writing again. I firmly believe that it will help me, it has helped me so much in the past.

Also, my friend Austin wants me to blog about him. So, here you go Austin. You're officially on the internet for ever and ever in a documentation on blogspot.

But seriously. I wanted this year to be about strength, physically and emotionally. I've kind of sucked at both lately. (Sorry to whoever reads this and actually knows me, I'm gonna get real on here, that's the whole point of my blog). Some see crying as a solution, and I know that chemically speaking it can be helpful, but for me I would love to cry less.
What?? Alexandra Anne cries a lot? But...she's so perky and smiles and cracks jokes and sings and is just super joyful.

That's the thing though.

I'm an excellent mask-wearer.
Sometimes the mask is my ideal, I'm not just faking happy for other people, I truly *want* to be happy and joyful. So I adopt a persona that reminds me of my happy past. But so often, I just want to hide in my room and not give a mask of any kind to anyone.

I am blessed, and I am doing well overall, I don't mean to sound miserable.
But I haven't been taking care of myself, not truly.
I'd rather take care of YOU and YOUR problems than constructively deal with my own. I would assume that we're all guilty to that to some degree (unless you're just that selfish and egotistical, then all you care about is yourself, so you must be good to go).

I'm in love with music, it's what gets me through my day and is what has taken me all over the country. I think right now I need to focus more on God and my faith walk, while still staying passionate to music.

This post is a little...sporadic I suppose. I'm being raw and real, ya'll, just writing down what's going on in my head.

To keep this post from being entirely self-centered, here's where you come in: I *know* I am not the only person who feels this way. I want to share and connect with my online readers.
And I want to get better.

Read James 1:2. Actually, I recommend reading that whole chapter. I did.

I set out to make 2013 my year of strength. Time to make this happen!

alexandra anne


  1. This is a wonderful and honest post. I felt like 2013 was going to be a year of both emotional growth and physical strength for me too, and I've been slacking SO badly. I haven't been to the gym since early February. :( But every day is a new day and it's never too late to change. We can do it! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  2. The thing about strength though, is sometimes you don't realize you have it until after the fact. Going through the hard stuff sucks. It hurts, and you cry a lot, and you wish you didn't cry so much, and you don't know when or how it's going to end. Then later, sometimes MUCH later, when you look back you realize how strong you were. How those hard times MADE you stronger. If we want strength, God is going to bring us things that are hard and that's how we get there. Hang in there friend!

  3. AAA, so glad you wrote this. Having strength is something a lot of people struggle with. I have the Japanese kanji for strength tatooed on my hip, and yet I still find myself being weak at times. Just remind yourself that being weak is okay, and that you'll work on being better next time.

    P.S. I love a good cry