Dusty Boots

I have a problem. Ok, everyone has problems, I'd be lying if I said I only had one. This is one I'm dealing with: I have this terrible need for closure. Oh, and a side bar of that problem is I cannot block people out of my life, I'm "too nice" to them. Wait, what? Yes, sometimes I need to let go of people that Satan is using, and I just can't. I let him win little battles, and then I beat myself up even more.

Last night I decided to wear some old boots. They were cute, I wanted to wear boots with that outfit.
But they were dusty when I picked them up off my bathroom floor (I have too many shoes, some are in my closet, some in my bedroom, and some in the bathroom; there just isn't room in any one spot for all my shoes!). Why were the boots dusty? Obviously, they have not been worn in a very long time. I honestly could not tell you the last time I wore those boots. But let me tell you where I got the boots; my ex gave them to me for Christmas a few years ago.

Why do I still have boots from my ex? Well...you can't really give those back now can you? What would a teenage boy do with girly boots?

The question has now become: why did I pick up the boots again? I have other brown boots... It's that nagging need for closure. He isn't really in my life now, and I was feeling guilt, sorrow, aching for the past? I don't know... but the funny thing is, my body rebelled.

Let me digress momentarily; I am a singer, an opera singer actually, so I have, over the years, become more aware of my body and what it needs. (This is also why I am partially on the Paleo diet, or what I call "God's Diet" where I only eat natural foods, to honor the body God gave me) So little things about my body will make me very sensitive; I'm quite attuned to my body's needs and the signals it gives me. If my body is in pain, I am quick to investigate and figure out why, that way I can take care of it and maybe prevent the pain from happening again.

How did my body rebel after wearing some boots from my ex? (Sounds Freudian, I swear it isn't) The boots were too small. My feet haven't grown in the two years I've had the boots; the boots were always too small. In retrospect, I see this is almost a metaphor for the relationship I stayed in. I was swallowed. There was no room for growth. I kept trying to walk, despite the blisters. 

So this morning, when I woke up to a blister on my foot, I realized that I need to heal. It's ok to let people out of my life. God has put the right people in my life, and I am so happy! But when I cling to the past, and seek "closure" it can only end in tears and scars.

"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." James 1:17

Earthly gifts really cannot compare to the gift from our heavenly Father.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21

"He will endure as long as the sun, as long as the moon, through all generations. He will be like rain falling on a mown field, like showers watering the earth." Psalm 72:5-6 

Let the Lord's rain heal and grow you! Let Him be your treasure, the keeper of your heart. There is no better gift than the gift of Jesus Christ.

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." 

Psalm 73:25-26

Daily Journey Of Grace

[Romans 11:13-21]

"If the part of the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, then the whole batch is holy; if the root is holy, so are the branches."

This morning God hit me with a bucket of grace; that's like a bucket of ice cold water in your face, but one filled with joy and love.

We are the branches of the church. How neat is it that we are many parts of a body working together for one ultimate purpose? God's glory is the best purpose ever!
"...you stand by faith. Do not be arrogant, but be afraid. For it God did not spare the natural branches, He will not spare you either."

Sometimes I read these passages and think "ouch!" But it's a good ouch. I'm glad our Lord is just AND gives mercy.

"... (you) share in the nourishing sap from the olive root..." We receive nourishing from the original tree; God's love, grace, and mercy!

Grace is God's pure gift to us. We can receive that grace through faith, which is a gift itself.
Look at all these gifts!

But who paid the price for these gifts? "He was wounded because of our rebellious deeds, crushed because of our sins; He endured punishment that made us well; because of His wounds we have been healed." Isaiah 53:5

Our sin has been removed. Grace is the only explanation! Grace every day! Today, tomorrow, forever!

But there is a deal; I can't just say "Ok God, you got this. I'm gonna chill now, not really worry about sin, and I'll just take care of myself really, because I know you'll work it all out, man."

No.

I must give it all up to Him. I must do my part, but I have to give God my whole life, my whole being. Because without Him, what do I even have?

"You do not support the root, but the root supports you." He must be our foundation. Always.

One of the last points in our church's sermon hit me, I knew I had to share it:

"My walk with the Lord is a daily journey that requires surrender."