I'm guilty of it. I don't forgive myself. That's right; I count my sins and let them stay with me. I beat myself up for it all. I blame myself for so much, and I don't let myself lean on anyone. It's quite a weighty flaw I have!
God likes to smack me in the face sometimes. I can pretty much hear Him saying "ALEXANDRA! Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I have the master plan and you know it. Get over yourself, and stop whining." Sigh...makes me feel sheepish...but He's right and I know it.
But on days like today, God comes at me with a different approach. The one of "Ok, you're gonna give up on yourself? HUZZAH. Here's that good news you didn't realize you needed. You can say thank you now."
Just when I'm feeling yucky and like I'm good for nothing, God lifts me back up again. And it is ALL Him! I can't take any credit for it!
I am preparing for many many auditions, and will be flying all over the country (literally! Los Angeles, Boston, San Francisco, Houston, Baltimore, Mississippi, etc etc etc!). In just a few days I will be in California for the first time. I look forward to these auditions as challenges but also as opportunities to count gifts. God threw passion for opera into my heart last year; this is the year to grow in that passion! I am so grateful and hope I can bring Him glory with this joy!
God forgives. Then we have to show Him we won't wallow anymore.
Let's do this!!!